Late Night Show host Conan O’Brien has many
running gags. One of the more popular is “If
They Mated,” a rendering of two celebrities’
most prominent features on one face. Builder
consortium Destroy All Guitars has taken that
one step further and applied it in real life—using
two of the world’s most famous solidbody electric
guitars, the Stratocaster and the Telecaster, to
form the Telstar. It is most certainly not a gag.
Organized by Cliff Cultreri, DAG describes itself as
“a guild for guitarists,” where builders, designers,
and parts makers can all combine their strengths
instead of competing with each other. The Telstar
represents the first original guitar designed and
built by DAG. It combines the strengths of mas-
ter builders Gene Baker and Chad Underwood.
Baker (who was an apprentice Master Builder at
Fender, and Senior Master Builder at Gibson
by age twenty-five) starts the process, carv-
ing the ash into the Telstar’s new-yet-familiar
body shape. When Underwood receives the
body, he sets to work putting the pieces
together—he’s highly acclaimed as one of
the finest bolt-on builders available today.
Underwood also handles the relicing of the
guitar, transforming it from a new-looking
guitar to a well-maintained classic. “Why
would you want a guitar with modern
looks and vintage playability?” asks
Matte Henderson, who came up with
the idea for the Telstar. “We grew up
looking at people playing Strats and
Teles and SGs and Explorers—and
there’s something very cool about that
aesthetic—but it’s not always the most
functional scenario.”
Cultreri also gave us a hilarious descrip-
tion of the Telstar as a mix between a
long-term relationship and a one-night-
stand: “I started off as a Tele fanatic.
Somewhere in my playing career, I did
romance the Stratocaster, and it’s been
in and out of my life like this psychotic
ex-girlfriend that just doesn’t quite want
to go away, shows up every now and
then, locks itself in my bathroom, refuses
to leave, bangs its head on the wall a few
times… this really allows me to keep that
crazy girlfriend in check.”
