LAST CALL
JOHN BOHLINGER
I landed the gig as bandleader for this year’s
CMT Music Awards. Last year, I did a show
with the producer, Tom Forrest, a brilliant, fun
guy who’s produced a ton of amazing music-based television, including the Crossroads
series for CMT. Our show went well, and he
was kind enough to hire me for this gig. In
addition to the live performances, my gig
also includes pre-recording music for the
introduction packages, those rocking tracks
beneath a voice-over saying something like:
“The nominations for this year’s best eighties-rock-sounding song featuring a pedal steel
and fiddle are...”
themes from the past like, Family Feud, The
Price is Right or Wheel of Fortune. They
have real melodies you can sing, usually
played by horns. Now compare today’s competition, shows like Idol. Modern television
music doesn’t use songs, but riffs. Maybe
our brains have atrophied to the point that
we can’t process anything complicated, or
maybe the shift in music stems from the hypnotic effect of big dumb riffs. The listeners
don’t have to think to process the information. Instead, they absorb it unthinkingly into
their central nervous system, which reacts
by sending more oxygen to their muscles,
pumping out some endorphins and generally getting the audience pumped to watch
some mindless programming.
The Art of Dumb Guitar per Beat Feels like Record at
60 BPM 59. 94 BPM
90 BPM 89. 91 BPM
100 BPM 99. 90 BPM
120 BPM 119. 88 BPM
150 BPM 149. 85 BPM
primitive level—no complicated rhythm patterns, never a string of 16th notes when a
single quarter note will do.
One reason that simple, big riffs work so well
in television is the way shots are cut. Watch
the pace of any show and notice how the
music changes as they switch cameras. In the
best of all possible worlds, the shots change
on the beat. A more obvious driving beat
makes these cuts flow.
For the last two weeks, I’ve been chained to
my home studio, elbow-deep in Pro Tools LE,
armed with three electrics, a dobro, an acoustic, a mandolin, a bass, an E9 pedal steel, an
X50 keyboard, a tube amp, a Shure KSM44
and a SM57 mic, an old drum machine, a few
harmonicas and a handful of looping and
sound-generating programs like EZ Drummer.
I’ve had to build a considerable arsenal of
sounds over the years, because I’ve stumbled
into so many of these kinds of jobs, placing a
couple hundred songs in television and film
over the past seven years. What’s the magic
ingredient that makes songs work in television you ask? I am willing to give you, loyal
reader, the keys to the kingdom. Four little
words, my friends: Big Dumb Guitar Riffs.
Tension is easy to create. Usually it’s just a
low, pulsating key patch with layers of tones
sonically interlinked. I try to spice these
up by adding some rocking riffs peppered
about, and maybe a few seemingly arbitrary
drum fills, like Clapton did on the old Lethal
Weapon soundtrack. Sometimes playing open
chords on a baritone guitar with tremolo
makes for a track replete with dread and fear.
Frames per Beat Feels like Record at
The vast majority of modern television tracks
strive to do one of two things: 1) make the
audience feel tension; 2) make the audience
feel excited and happy.
Perhaps it’s all part of the decline of
Western civilization, but complicated melodies don’t seem to work today. You can literally play your way out of a gig if you go too
cerebral. Go online and listen to television
Excited and happy tracks require a bit more
inspiration. The best are all balls, no brain.
Acts like AC/DC, John Fogerty, or even The
Ramones and Jet are masters of infectious,
knuckle-draggin’ riffs that hit everyone on a
If you really want to get anal when pre-recording for television, keep in mind that
sound waves vibrate at a faster rate than
frames happen in video or film. In layman’s
terms, our BPMs (beats per minute) do not
line up with their FPBs (frames per beat). For
example, say we want to record a rocking
little ditty at 120 BPM. Our beats will land
in front of the video frame changes; however, if we accommodate for this frame drop
by recording at 119. 88 BPM, the changes
will line up perfectly. I was hipped to this
by David Bennett from CMT Graphics. I
could give you a somewhat complicated
mathematical equation for calculating the
frame drop-BPM conundrum, but we will all
be better served if I just list a few common
tempo examples that I found in an article
entitled “Magic Tempos” by Chris Meyer
(read the entire article at provideocoalition.
com/ index.php/cmg_keyframes/story/
magic_tempos/).
It’s not as complicated as it seems. Pro
Tools allows you to set tempos in smaller
increments than you will ever need. Some
looping programs have options that accommodate for frame drop.
Frames
per Beat:
Feels Like:
Recorded At:
Partial list of “Magic Tempos” compiled by Chris Meyer, 1998.
30
20
18
15
12
60 BPM
90 BPM
100 BPM
120 BPM
150 BPM
59. 94 BPM
89. 91 BPM
99. 90 BPM
119. 88 BPM
149. 85 BPM
Even though the last two paragraphs
sounded like tech talk at a Star Trek convention, my point remains simple: catchy,
easy, hypnotic riffs work best for film. It’s
not rocket surgery.
John Bohlinger
John Bohlinger is a Nashville guitar slinger who has
recorded and toured with over 30 major label artists. His
songs and playing can be heard in several major motion
pictures, major label releases and literally hundreds of
television drops. For more info visit johnbohlinger.com
