LAST CALL
RIDERS REVEALED BY JOHN BOHLINGER
A “musician’s rider” is a list of amenities and necessities that a promoter or venue
is contractually obligated to
provide for the touring artist
they’ve hired. Along with sound,
stage, and production needs, the
contract rider may also include
accommodations, food, a personal runner, dressing and party
rooms, exercise facilities, and all
types of funsies. A rider is a bit
like a Rorschach test (you know,
those inkblots that shrinks show
to patients to reveal their personalities). You can tell a lot about
artists by what they ask for (or
demand) in their dressing room.
I work primarily with country acts and their riders tend to
be pretty tame: the ubiquitous
deli tray (sweaty cheese, grey
gig meat, questionable mayo,
white-ish bread), a case of beer,
several cases of water, a case
of soda, coffee, and maybe a
bottle of Crown, Jack, or vodka.
Rockers, popsters, and divas,
however, tend to be far more
needy. The Smoking Gun has
an extensive list of riders with
ridiculous demands that provide
interesting insights into some of
our favorite acts. Here are a few
highlights from real-life riders.
Chuck Berry. The father of
rock guitar travels light on the
road and is all business. After
receiving his total fee via bank
wire at least three days before
the engagement, Chuck hops
a plane, checking his Gibson
ES-335, stereo, and one bag.
Once Chuck arrives at his destined airport, he is given the keys
to the largest, gassed up, four-door Mercedes Benz they can
find (excluding Japan), a key to
a suite at a “five star” hotel, and
$200 per diem to cover his food.
Once at the venue, in addi-
tion to the normal sound
and stage requirements,
Chuck demands a card-car-
rying American Federation of
Musicians band (drummer, bass
player, and piano player) that
knows his songs. Chuck also
needs two matching “unaltered
Fender Dual Showman” heads
with cabinets and a guitar cable.
Probably the most famous rider of them all
remains the 53-page, 1982 Van Halen World
Tour rider containing the infamous statement: “M&Ms (WARNING: ABSOLUTELY
NO BROWN ONES).”
ing with ‘Roll Over Beethoven.’”
Not a bad day at the office.
James Brown. The
Godfather of Soul knew how
to travel in style. His rider
reads, “Mr. James Brown and
Entourage MUST stay in a ( 5)
FIVE-STAR HOTEL. One
two-bedroom Presidential Suite,
two Junior Suites, one Deluxe
Single. They will need one
stretch limousine, 186-inches
long, current year model; one
van for luggage.”
His band and singers, how-
ever, must stay in a four-star
hotel. Dancers must stay in a
separate four-star establishment,
where the band can’t mingle
with them. At the gig, James
needs a well-appointed dress-
ing room with two full-length
mirrors, another makeup mirror
with lights, two garment racks, a
circulating fan, an ironing board
with a steam iron, a hooded
hair dryer, and an oxygen
tank. Oh, one more thing—a
separate room nearby “provided
for James Brown’s wardrobe
of wine and liquor, and one ( 1)
large tube K-Y Jelly.” Now that’s
running with the devil!
and a platform for Ringo Starr
and his drums.” Backstage they
asked for “four cots, mirrors, an
ice cooler, a portable TV set, and
clean towels.” Amazingly meager
requests for arguably the most
influential musicians in the last
100 years, don’t you think?
The Foo Fighters call their
rider the “Field Guide to Food
Coloring Book and Activity
Pages.” The rider includes funny
drawings by Dave Grohl and his
bunch, as well as jokes, activities,
and a “word hunt” for the reader.
Willie Nelson’s rider states
in bold caps “ALL WILLIE
NELSON engagements must
be Smoke Free.” Perhaps he
means “tobacco free.” Maybe he
means “free to smoke.”
Much like the old truism
that you can tell a lot about
your date by the way he or she
treats a waitress during dinner,
riders reveal an artist’s personal-
ity: how greedy, needy, demand-
ing, hypocritical, hypochondria-
prone, sugar-crazed, or booze-
driven they may be.
So for any of you touring
stars out there, remember, just
because you can make selfish
demands, it may not be in your
best interest. Everything makes
it online eventually.
One of my favorite rid-
ers was for B.B. King, from a
multi-act tour a few years ago.
The other acts on the bill had a
long list of post-show food and
beverage needs. Here is a direct
quote detailing B.B.’s post-show
needs: “Nothing.”
With Lucille and the blues,
what else could he want?
JOHN BOHLINGER
John Bohlinger is a
Nashville multi-instrumentalist best known for his
work in television. He led
the band for all six seasons of NBC’s hit program
Nashville Star, as well as the 2011, 2010,
and 2009 CMT Music Awards and many
specials for GAC, PBS, CMT, USA, and
HDTV. Watch him perform on You Tube,
and check out his new band the Tennessee
Hot Damns on Facebook and i Tunes.
